Fussy eaters can be so stressful. They make the choice of meals difficult and meal times are potentially times of frustration and anxiety. Of course every child is different and the reasons for a child’s fussiness are not always the same. However assuming your child is not sick, suffering from allergies or experiencing digestive problems that cause pain when eating, the main reason children seem to be fussy is for control purposes. Who has the strongest will?
What doesn’t work
- Physically forcing a child to eat.
- Punishing a child who won’t eat what you want them to eat.
- Yelling at the dinner table.
- Commanding they eat particular foods and giving no explanation as to why.
What does work
Design your child’s palette: this actually works. The younger you can expose children to a wide variety of foods, the more likely they are to be accepting of these foods for life. For example, when my son was 9 months old, I decided I wanted him to like olives. So I gave him a slice of olive every day and now he loves them. Try this with foods that are usually hard to get children to eat. eg olives, sauerkraut, bitter greens, any greens, a really wide variety of vegetables.
Taste bud training: I touched on this above. Our taste buds can be trained – at any age. By exposing a child to a particular food regularly, the taste for that food can be developed. One of my boys didn’t like broccoli. I never forced him to eat a whole serve but I put a very small piece on his plate each night and said he just had to try it. I also explained to him that we were training his taste buds because the food is so good for his body. It took 20 tries and he asked for more. BE PERSISTANT.
Get kids in the kitchen and garden: Involve your children in cooking. Get them to help, allow them to have some choice in meals, have fun with this. If you grow foods, involve them here as well. My youngest son wouldn’t eat lettuce until we grew it. Then he couldn’t get enough because he had planted it, watered and harvested it. I didn’t even have to suggest he eat it. Another aspect of this is that if children see and understand how much work goes into growing and or cooking the food, they will develop a greater appreciation for the work you do.
Education: I don’t mean sit your kids down for a nutrition lecture. Whenever you get the opportunity, slip a little learning in. For example when you are at the supermarket, explain why you would buy one product over another in order to avoid additives. Tell them what additives will do to their bodies. Express the importance of some foods for good health. Make it interesting. You may need to learn a little yourself in order to do this. Always level with your children with a healthy dose of respect. What I mean is if you talk to them at the same level rather than talking down to them, they will respond in a more positive way. Tell them you want to create the best start for them and that you want them to grow into healthy adults. Explain your motives – be open and you may find they relax a little.
Motivate your child: Every child is different. What motivates yours? Do they want to be strong, have clear skin, healthy hair, be able to run fast. Use what your child wants and tie it in with your food education. Adapt this to your child’s age. Remember to educate them about the immune system and use the motivation to be well and avoid colds.
Presentation: Don’t underestimate the look of a food and the name of a meal. Give your meals really creative and appealing names and if possible do a little work on presentation. Even if it is adding an edible flower.
Don’t make special meals: remember it’s all about control. Give an inch and they will take a mile. If you get into the habit of making special meals for fussy eaters, you will create a rod for you own back and give your child a sense of entitlement. This is also opposite to the lesson they will learn from cooking with you or cooking on their own. That is an appreciation for the work that goes into creating a meal.
For the really hard cases
Ok some of our best efforts using the above methods will sometimes fail. I say this because that was my experience with one of my children. He is particularly stubborn and strong willed. To make it harder, he has a contrary personality. He knew what I wanted him to eat because I started educating him from a young age. His reaction was to do the opposite. I first saw this when he was 2 and I did work out a system to deal with it that has never failed me. Now he is older and I have no problem (in the food department :-).
Here is what I did when my son decided he wasn’t eating vegetables anymore. Keep in mind he was not sick and it was not one particular food that may have been making him feel unwell. It was ALL vegetables. I knew it was a control issue. So that settled, I explained to him why it is important for everyone to eat vegetables every day. I explained in ways he understood. Then I told him if he didn’t start eating his vegetables, he would only be given vegetables. His choice was eat or go hungry. This may seem harsh but I had the bigger picture in mind. This was not negotiable for me. Lets be clear. I was not starving him, he had the choice.
He didn’t eat his vegetables that night so he went to bed without dinner.
The next morning I made him some more (I didn’t present anything cold or unappealing, I put effort in the short term for the long-term goal). He was really hungry by this time and so he ate.
That wasn’t the last of it though. He still tried the same tactic again a few times but each time we went back to the same system. In the end all I had to do was remind him and he ate his vegetables. Within a short time he admitted he loves vegetables and still does. Another indicator that is was and is all a game. You just need to play your cards right for a positive outcome. That positive outcome is a healthy child.
